Would You Rather...

Confession: Though I don’t have children of my own, I believe I have a responsibility to be involved in positively influencing the lives of the children God has placed in each season of my life.

In my list of goals for my 38^th year, I said I would use Tuesday nights as girls’ night. So, tonight I did that very thing! I spent the evening enjoying meat pizza, cinnamon sticks, a fun game of questions, and lots of laughs with my dear friends Hannah and Callie. They are such a fun set of sisters! They have great personalities, they are intelligent, they think for themselves, they wore spandex, and they challenged me to adjust my thinking and words. And they are only 8 and 6!

When I arrived to pick them up, they had just finished gymnastics, so they were clad in sparkly spandex outfits and so excited to go that we didn’t even bother changing their clothes! We loaded up and headed to Johnny’s for some delicious pizza and cinnamon sticks. You can see by their expressions that they were big fans of the sweet goodness!

  

I knew we would have some wait time, so to be intentional with the time, I chose to introduce them to one of my favorite games, a self-created game I like to call “Answer Alanna’s Question.” Here’s how it works: one person asks a question and everyone answers it. I have used it in groups, on dates, in one on one situations, and sometimes when people didn’t even know they were playing! {I’m sneaky like that.} First, it’s a great way to get conversation going. Second, you casually learn about others while they also learn about you. Third, it allows you to find commonalities you have with others. Some people have been more willing to play than others, but I have never regretted starting a game!

With my sweet little friends, I used a set of “Would You Rather…” cards I found here and printed. We spread them out on the table and each took turns reading one and answering it. I had them explain their answers which allowed them to explore their  imaginations, think through their answers, and even change their minds if their thought processes caused them to realize their initial answer wasn’t as great as they originally thought. We had a great time!

At one point in the conversation, I was challenged by one of their answers and confronted by my own negative thoughts of myself…as silly as that may sound. The question was “Would you rather all your clothes were black or all your clothes were white?”  Hannah got really excited and immediately knew her answer. She said she would definitely pick black because she could put colorful jewelry or sparkly diamond jewelry and it would look so beautiful! Callie pointed out that when you wear black, if you spill on it no one will know! They were both right…but neither of those were my first response. I immediately thought “Wearing white would make me look paler and fatter than I really am. I’d definitely pick black because it’s more slenderizing.”

As I opened my mouth to say these very words, I immediately sucked them back in and agreed with the girls, taking the discussion to fun jewelry, diamonds, and hidden stains. Though my initial thoughts may not have been completely incorrect, they have no place in my heart…or theirs. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, who I am and what I am capable of has nothing to do with how large I may look or actually be. My value doesn’t come from my body size or shape. Second, if I’m going to influence the children in my life to grow spiritually, emotionally, and relationally, I have no business encouraging them to allow their physical appearance to determine how they feel about themselves. I know you may think I’m being overly dramatic. I don’t. I vividly recall hearing as a young child, “As you grow taller, you’ll thin out.” {I’ve spent most of my life waiting for that growth spurt!} Only recently have I learned to see myself as more than my body and appearance. Only recently have I been able to say with confidence that I am truly fearfully and wonderfully made and I’m ok with myself. In fact, I’m more than ok with myself. I actually LIKE myself. That’s a new one for me. And it’s freeing. And it allows me to wear either black or white with confidence. I pray sweet Hannah and Callie will learn this younger than I did. I also pray that those of us who have influence over little friends will encourage them toward positive and godly real thoughts rather than believing the lies that have sucked so many of us in. Will you join me?