Does Anyone REALLY Like Change?

Confession: I know change is inevitable. It's often not so much the change I dislike, but the adjustments and unknown that come with it...especially if it includes saying "Goodbye" in any form.

There is some big change coming in my life. When I began working at Pineville Park nearly four years ago, I never dreamed my tenure would last longer than my pastor's. He planned to retire at PPBC...I never made that commitment. I've never been in a church for longer than 3 and a half years so to promise 20-plus was a bit much for my taste. In Steve (and Kimberly), I've seen another person live out "God's ways are not my ways." My pastor, my boss, my friend, my mentor, and so much more has experienced God changing the plans he and his wife had for their lives...again. For the many years I have known Steve and Kimberly, I have seen their lives change and grow in many ways. They have displayed incredible obedience and faith when God has called them to change careers, move to a new position in a new church at a pivotal time in the lives of their children, and adding two more children to their family, changing all of their lives forever...all of this because God led them to do it. And now, God calls again. And again, it brings change. And again, it's hard...for many people. But, again, it's going to be good because it is how GOD has planned and led them. As sad as I am about saying goodbye to my friends (and honestly don't really like that it's happening), I have great peace in what the future holds for all of us because this is God's plan for them and for PPBC today.

There is an old hymn that has been on my mind during all of this. The lyrics are:

God moves in a mysterious way

His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill,
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sov’reign will. 

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head. 

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flow’r. 

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

I find such encouragement and reminders of God's hand at work in these words. The first verse reminds me that He is in control. The winds and waves obey Him and all things move under His control. In verse two, I am reminded that God sovereign and at work. It is Him we follow, not a person. In verse three, we see that fear is a natural response, but we can have courage knowing that what we dread will bring about great blessings when we are obedient. Verse four reminds me that I don't have the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom to fully understand what He is doing but I must trust and have faith in His wisdom rather than my own. The fifth verse speaks what I have felt often about this change...the bud has a bitter taste. It has left me sad, uncertain, and nervous. BUT, the flower, the outcome of this, is going to be sweet because it is God's plans we are following, not our own. Finally, verse six reminds us that God will one day make plain why He has worked in the ways He has. Though it may not be this side of heaven that I see His reasons and purposes, nothing is in vain and He is going to reveal all of that one day. And I will choose to trust Him...not myself or any other human. Can we promise to do this together?

My Name is Alanna and I’m Single…

Confession #1: I’m not in need of a support group.

Let me explain. If you’re like me, your initial response to the title of this post would be “Hi, Alanna” spoken like any good support group would. Maybe you’ve been there. Maybe we all just watch too many movies. Support groups are great and serve a much needed purpose. They help with healing, accountability, and dealing with a problem you realize you can’t handle on your own. I’m for them but when it comes to my singleness, I don’t need one.

Again, let me explain. “Single” for me is {usually} simply a descriptor of my current marital state. Hopefully, it is temporary {and then I can change my blog title to “Confessions of a Formerly Single Woman”}. It is not my identity. It is not who I am. I have not always realized this. And some days I forget this. Those days are NOT pretty. I’m a hot mess on those days. I question everything about me. I feel rejection much more deeply {and sometimes imagine it when it doesn’t exist}. I worry. I hurt. I look in the mirror and see only flaws. I attack myself with all of the reasons of why I must be single. I eat anything unhealthy I can get into my mouth. Right about now you may be thinking, “Alanna? Are you sure you don’t need a support group?” That may or may be what I’m thinking right now!

Confession #2: What I do need is Jesus

Here’s what I’ve learned…and why I don’t think I need a support group. Being single isn’t a disease {that means isn’t contagious, in case you’re worried}, a deformity, or something I must get rid of. It doesn’t hinder my life unless I allow it. It simply means I am not married. My identity and who I am as a person run much deeper than whether I am married or single. My identity is based on the person I am because of one relationship alone and that is my relationship with Christ. He is the only man that gives me value. He is the only one that will satisfy my deepest longings. He alone gets to determine what I need to change in my life.

This doesn’t mean I don’t need people or friends. This does mean that with my relationship with Christ come a plethora of blessings, including the people He puts in my path. I need them. I need the joy they bring to my life and the lessons I can learn from them. Regardless of what their status is, when Christ places us together we are meant to live life together and sharpen each other. And, let’s be honest, I need them to know which days to give me chocolate and which days to say “Step away from the chips.”

Wanna Be Friends?

Confession: I’m not perfect but I think you’ll like me. Then again, you might not.

So, I want to be friends with you. Maybe we’ve met in person but, in this world of technology and social media, it’s also possible we haven’t. I think if we’re going to be friends, we should probably get to know a little bit about each other. Here’s how we’re going to do that. I’m going to tell you a few basics about me in this post. Then it will be your turn!

I am Alanna {uh-lay-nuh} Dawn Arceneaux {we won’t even try the phonetics on that one}.I was born in Lafayette, LA on September 9, 1976 {that makes me 38 this year}. I am the oldest of three children and the aunt to 3 of the most amazing girls ever born. I love children but have none of my own. I am single, never married, and was never as close to marriage as I may have thought at certain times. I want to be married but take the words “I do” very seriously and won’t say them to any old guy just to be married. Most importantly, I love Jesus and His church. Those are kind of the basics, if you will.

What I like: lime in my Diet Coke, rainy days on the couch with a comfy blanket, my mama’s cooking, space and time by myself, genuine and real friendships, my family, cupcakes {I seriously think mine are the best}, football, belly laughter, Pinterest, New Orleans, peanut butter, a good book, movie popcorn with extra butter, Adam Levine, pajamas, and a long hot bath.

What I don’t like: cats, yard work, dirty hands, baked beans, drama, passive aggressiveness, horror flicks, sweating, mean people, black coffee, early mornings, irresponsibility, driving, and zombies.

What I’m a sucker for: fresh flowers, chivalry, blue eyes, confidence, good conversation, a good chick flick, puppies, dinner in a nice restaurant, cards in the mail, just because gifts, skinny Cinnamon Dolce lattes from Starbucks, unsolicited kindness, honesty, and a good grilled cheese sandwich.

I am: a planner, detail oriented, a hard worker, cautious, kind, loving, a people person, compassionate, sensitive, insecure at times, confident at others, good at my job, a great cook, never going to be thin or petite, creative, stubborn, observant, critical, and funny {at least I think so}.

The reality is it is near impossible to tell you who I am in a few words. But this is a start. Keep reading and you’ll see who I am and what makes me tick. You won’t always agree. That’s ok. You may decide you don’t like me. That’s ok, too. You can tell me that…but don’t try to convince me that your opinion is right and mine is wrong. It won’t work. I told you I am stubborn, remember. But I am also open and would love to get to know one another. May this be a place of community, sharing, encouragement, discussion, and growth. And if you’re ever in my neck of the woods, let me know. We can meet and talk and you can try one of my delicious cupcakes!

So now it’s your turn. See that box at the bottom that says “comments”? That’s where you’re going to tell me about you. Ready. Set. GO!